2 more sleeps! The end is nigh.

The title of the post says it all really. 66 days down, 2 to go. Tomorrow morning I will be awaiting the arrival of my Mum and Step-Dad and we shall be driving down to Cornwall in preparation for OH's passing-out parade on Friday.


When I think back over the last ten weeks, it's amazing how quickly the time has actually gone. The first fortnight was by far the hardest - I was adjusting to being by myself and the kids were unsettled and making life very difficult. I knew OH was very homesick and I had to be strong when we spoke on the phone so as not to make things worse for him, which meant that I had to hide my emotions until after the call. 


My youngest sister, Laura was an absolute godsend during this time and would ring me a couple of times a day so I could 'unload'. My friend Claire was also fantastic and would take my mind off things by regaling me with gossip from my old team at work. I cannot thank Laura and Claire enough for keeping me sane through the last 10 weeks.


I have managed to keep myself fairly busy - as I've said in a previous post it is surprising how quickly a day goes even though I am at home. Writing this blog has helped and seems to have opened some other doors for me too. I fully intend to continue posting on a regular basis as putting my thoughts into words has become very satisfying and enjoyable once more. There are a number of things that will be happening in the next few months that hashing out in a blog post will help to sort through so this is certainly not going to stop.


I have to admit that I am tremendously nervous about Friday. I think the bulk of the nerves is the sense of anticipation - I haven't seen OH for almost 10 weeks and I'm so looking forward to first catching a glimpse of him in his uniform. When it comes to the actual parade, I know that I will be in floods of tears (which reminds me - waterproof mascara needs to be bought today!) and he is well aware that I am unlikely to let go of him all weekend. 


We will only have the weekend together as he has to go to his next base on Sunday afternoon, although he will be home for his 3 week summer break next Friday night. DD will be home from her holiday next weekend too and we will have 3 weeks together as a family before my Mum steals DD for the annual 'week of being spoilt rotten by Grandma'.


When OH got his date and I told people at work that he would be away for so long, many people said things along the lines of "I couldn't do that - I couldn't cope" and "you're a better person than me if you'll let him go". I put on a brave face as I honestly didn't think I would cope either but I have done it and I know now that when he is away living on base (more on that to come at a later date) and at sea, I can do it again.


I have a lot to do today so will leave this post here but I will be back next week and starting the countdown again (albeit a much shorter one). Thanks for reading.

CCCS - not just another employer.

Up until now, my posts have been very much linked to the title of my blog but today I would like to deviate slightly and talk about something else. As much as I would love to spend the next half hour watching Peppa Pig, I feel that there might be a slightly better use of my time available.

As those of you who know me will be aware, until recently I worked for the debt and money advice charity Consumer Credit Counselling Service (www.cccs.co.uk). I worked for them for 5 and a half years and I can honestly say that it was the best job I have had. One of the reasons for this is that I was genuinely proud of the work that they do and the real effect that this company has on the lives of many people.

For those of you who are not familiar with the work of CCCS, they are not a Debt Management Company (DMC) but are a charity and as such do not charge for the services they provide. They counsel people from all walks of life who, for whatever reason, have found themselves in financial difficulty and are unable to pay their liabilities. For some people, a chat with a counsellor and the creation of a realistic, sustainable budget is all that they need to bring things under control and get back in the black without any further assistance.

For others, a little more support is needed and Debt Management Plans (DMPs) are available, free of charge, to offer fair payments to creditors and help clients become debt free, however long it takes. Highly trained support staff are at the end of the phone or can be contacted by email to help reassure people who are in a worrying position, most for the first time in their lives.

Other services are on offer too - help with benefit advice, help with mortgage issues and detailed insolvency care to name just a few. For people who are not in trouble with debt, they have an online service that can help people put the money they have to better use, such as making sure they are adequately insured or are able to set aside money for a rainy day.

Today is the third CCCS #debtday on Twitter and it is worth searching for @moneyaware and following the activities throughout the day. The charity do not advertise at present and rely very much on word of mouth to get out to the people who need their help. If I had a pound for every client who had said to me "I wish I'd known about CCCS before things got this bad" I probably wouldn't be able to live in luxury but I would certainly have a better car!

As with all jobs, there were trials and tribulations during my employment but at the end of it all, I have a box of thank you cards and emails from clients and I think that shows that what CCCS do is vital, especially in the current climate. 

Ironically, I went for the job initially as it was one of the few that did not want a credit check doing which was very important to me in my post-university years! My experiences have led to a much better understanding of budgeting and money management and I know that the lessons I have learnt will be passed down to DD and DS.

So if you think you might need a helping hand with your finances, give them a call (0800 138 1111) or check out the website. If you are on top of your money, still check out http://www.facebook.com/moneyaware and read the blogs - there is no such thing as too much information when it comes to keeping in the black.

Thank you CCCS. Bigging up - done!

Bored. Boring. Bored.

The purpose of this blog was initially to get over my writer's block which it did seem to do at first. The lack of words came back with a vengeance over the last fortnight though. It has become apparent that my ability to write is directly linked to my mood and unlike the tortured artists out there I cannot put words on screen when I am unhappy.


It is very tempting just to forget about writing but I need to push myself and get something out. When I write a blog post and receive good feedback from readers it makes me feel happy so it is counter-productive to stop writing entirely due to my mood. I have also been asked to write a post for my ex-employers so thought I should probably warm my brain up on my own blog first!


The reason for my unhappiness is for once not to do with OH being away although that isn't helping. As ever, money is the root of all evil and misery. It's very frustrating to be struggling to get ourselves straight and although we know that the lack of cash is only going to be for a year or so, it doesn't help with the immediate problems of rent, bills and food! It's quite scary to think that if both OH and I were working we would be even worse off than we are now due to the added burden of childcare with little or no help from Tax Credits due to the new thresholds. 


The shortage of money and the appalling summer we are having in terms of weather means that I am forced to spend most of my days at home with DS and we are both bored to tears. This isn't good for either of us but there are very few free indoor activities that will get us out of the house. There is also a limit to what we are able to do indoors. He takes after his father in terms of having zero attention span and any attempts to paint, colour or bake with him will result in a tantrum five minutes into the activity. He is far more interested in breaking things and taking things apart than any constructive work whatsoever. Hopefully, over the summer holidays he and DD will be able to entertain themselves as she seems to be far better at occupying him than I am.


There are now less than two weeks before OH is home for the weekend and I can't wait. We will still be skint but just having him around will be such a change from the last two months. We also won't have time to be bored :)

Is it that time already?

It's funny how quickly a new routine becomes the norm. I've been on my own without OH for 6 weeks now and to be honest, the time is now flying by. It doesn't seem like it's been a full week since I was so happy that we'd hit the magic halfway mark but it has and we're now into the last month of Part 1 training.

One of the things I was most worried about when I handed my notice in at work was that time would drag and every day at home would feel like a lifetime. The first couple of weeks did indeed seem like a year but the human brain is a marvellous thing and it seems that there is a secret Stay at Home Mum survival section which allows time to pass quickly. It must be linked to the bit of the brain that cancels out memories of pregnancy and labour.

If anything, my days are passing more quickly at the moment than they ever did at work. DS and I have settled into a pattern which suits us both although this will probably change during the 6 weeks holiday when DD is at home as well. It's not like I'm filling my days with toddler groups, coffee mornings or play dates either although at some point I suppose I will need to get round to 'socialising' DS. I hate that word though; he's a toddler, not a dog! 

I always wondered how DD never seems to know what she has done at school, as if I drop her off to stare at the wall for 6 hours but now I have some appreciation that 6 hours goes really fast and her brain is probably in a whirl when I pick her up. I have lost track of time and been shocked that it is already 3 o'clock and time to leave the house on a number of occasions recently.

At work, days seemed to drag, even when I was busy. Don't get me wrong - I enjoyed my job - but the working week lasted forever. There were certain milestones within the week to get past and marking these became my way of counting down to the weekend.

Monday morning's first appointment was always a hurdle; mostly complicated and made worse by not really being awake. Getting through that was such a relief.

Tuesday was usually broken up nicely by Team Brief but that was not always a good thing! Team Brief Tuesday's had a habit of being quite draining. Once again however, getting through it meant I could tick off one more hurdle on my mental list.

Wednesday was the half-way point and usually marked by Coops or Fiona exclaiming that we had broken the back of the week when we made it to lunchtime unscathed. 

Thursday was made remarkable by the reappearance of Claire (my part-timer best friend) and the catching up on a couple of days of gossip, despite usually having spoken on the phone at least once a day that week so far. 

Friday was my favourite day. It would start with a text from or to Claire, asking "shall we do breakfast?" as if there was every any doubt in the matter. It got to be such a routine that Nosh didn't even need to ask our order. As well as being Breakfast Day, it was the only day of the week that both Claire and Laura (my other part-timer friend) were in the office and this made the day go much quicker. Before long it was the weekend but even this was tainted by the knowledge that Monday was not far off and the countdown would begin again.

I suppose it's possible that counting the days when at work actually made things worse. Perhaps the reason why time is moving more quickly now is that I no longer think in terms of specific hurdles to get over but concentrate on weeks to go instead. Children seem to have the right idea when they count 'sleeps' to an event they are looking forward to. My brain seems to have made the necessary adjustments to help me cope; as well as making time speed up, it has also added a mute button to the part of my head that used to be unable to ignore CBeebies. I think that helps.

28 sleeps.